In Memory of Gwendolyn Anderson (Elliot)

I got some sad news last week from our older bud Elliot. His niece, Gwendolyn Anderson was shot and killed a few weeks ago. He wasn’t as close to her as he was to his daughters, but her death had a huge impact on him. Especially because Elliot’s had experience with gun violence before. I’ve included his story about Gwendolyn below.

Elliot Doomes
10.11.2018
Gwendolyn Anderson, My Niece

Mostly what's been on my mind was gun violence. I had a niece who was murdered and I'm real sorry she passed. She was murdered sometime this month, and the funeral was this Saturday. She was a well-liked young lady. She was a beautiful, well-like young lady. She was raised by a loving family and a host of friends. On the 26th of this month she would've had her 30th birthday. She was a bartender, it was in the news. All of them, all over TV. Her name was Gwendolyn. I don't know how you spell it. She spelled it with a G, I know, and there was a "lyn" on the end.
I didn't know her very well. I got to know her through what her siblings and friends had to say about her. And the poem her tow small boys wrote about their mom. I knew her mother and her momma's parents and her father. her mother and father's parents, because she was named after her momma, so I knew her parents very well. I can remember when my daughter was an infant and I went to her mother's parents house and we were welcomed until our heat was restored. They didn't charge me, either. She was descended from a kind and loving family, I'm sure that when she gets to her final home, she will be welcomed with open, loving arms. Because I know her mother, her father, and their parents, they were good people and they'll be there too. I never knew her personally, but I got to know her from the people at her funeral and that's how I got to know her as a person, and how well loved she was.

The Best Day of My Life So Far is no stranger to loss; not even of other relatives. Loretta G.’s daughter Michelle, the one she reunited with, died a few years ago. We don’t always get the opportunity to meet the wonderful parents, children, and loved ones of the older buds. What we can do is be there for the older buds should they ever lose anyone in their lives, and share the stories of those they loved. If you've lost someone in your life, feel free to reach out through info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. If you want to talk, then we'll be listening.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Indigenous People Day (Joan and José)

Last Monday was Columbus Day, or Indigenous People Day as people call it now. The people of Best Day are always looking for senior storytellers of all backgrounds, but getting the Native American perspective can be difficult. Due to the forced relocation of several tribes of Native Americans, to say nothing of our country’s genocide against them, it’s hard to find Native Americans the way you can find African-Americans, Asians, Whites, Lantix, Middle Easterners. And speaking of Latinx, there’s some debate over whether or not they should be included under the Native American umbrella as well. More so due to the ambiguity of “America.” Is it just the 50 states, or do we include Mexico and Canada too?

However, we do have some Native American influence in our little section of Best Day. Joan had a Native-American foster mother, and José’s teacher was all about pre-Conquistador Mexico. So in honor of Indigenous People Day, I’m reposting those stories for you.

Joan Bunting 

6.14.2018 

Foster Care 

I was one of eight children. I look back at my life and see it as an interesting adventure. 

All eight of us were placed in foster homes. Three years old was I when we were separated from our parents, five girls and three boys. 

Our oldest sibling, Phoebe, two middle siblings, Bernice, Eugene and the baby of the family, Paul was immediately placed with their foster parent, Ms. Jackson. 

My sister next to the oldest, Bertha, my oldest brother, Theodore, another middle sibling, Doris and I was placed in the home of an American-Indian woman and her Afro-American husband, the Walters. 

My adventure started when I experienced eating foods that I was not familiar with. I believed to be Indian dishes. There were other meals we had that were familiar. We were given slices of bread according to our age. My sister, Bertha, would sometimes eat some of my food so that I would not get in trouble. 

We only stayed with the Walkers for two years because they weren’t as attentive to us as they should have been especially when Bertha and Theodore would go to my mothers house and Theodore would go to my father. Mother and Daddy were separated. Mother lived in South Philly and Daddy lived in Southwest, Philadelphia. 

Next we were placed in the care of Ms. Chamberlain. We didn’t live far from our mother and Bertha would send Doris and me to see our mother. 

Theodore kept running away, he was placed on a farm called Pomeroy until they let him go. Bertha left and was soon married to her boyfriend Monroe. 

Ms. Chamberlain was well educated and she instructed Doris to read to me. I still remember a lot of the nursery rhymes she read. Doris also had the job of combing my hair. 

By the time I started school, I knew my alphabets and how to actually write (not 

print) my name. By the time I reached the second grade (the first half) I was promoted to the first half of the third grade. Back then, it was one A, one B, two A, two B, etc… I was a very good reader and I learned math quickly. 

Doris and I stayed with Ms. Chamberlain for four years. We were removed from her residence because she sent my sister Doris to school with lettuce sandwiches. One of Doris’ girlfriends convinced her to report it to the school counselor.

We were then placed with Ms. Jackson and with Bernice, Eugene, and Paul. For me, that was a very happy adventure because being that I was the youngest (eight years old by then) of the girls, I was ale to play with the other children in the neighborhood. With Ms. Chamberlain, we were not allowed to run, jump rope, or join the other children in our block. 

Out of all eight children, I was the only one to graduate from twelfth grade. 

Jose Dominguez

8.23.2018 

The Real Education

At 22, I was studying law at the University of Chihuahua. At the beginning, it was easy, but now the courses were really complicated. This story is about one turning point in my life as a law student. 

It was my fourth year and at the end of the period, the final exams came as a course. This time, it was a course “Mexican Agrarian Law” and I had to study 800 pages. The book consisted of 28 chapters and the biggest was chapter 8 with 220 pages long. 

We had 7 days to prepare so I decided not to study chapter 8. The test was oral and the professor and two other faculty members were the jury, it was impressive. 

When my turn came, they randomly selected 2 chapters and there it goes – chapter 8. Oh my god – the only thing I did was take some time to decide as if there were something to decide. After a few seconds, I told the jury I prefer chapter 11 if you please, but my professor told me 8. “Oh no, Jose, that chapter has been explained all day long, please explain chapter 8.” Oof, I said to myself, there are 2 options: I run from here or I fake my explanation. So I began reading the topic of the chapter. It was on the history of the Agrarian Law in Mexico. My professor was a communist and I knew he did not like the destruction of our cultures by the Spaniards and so on. So I began praising the primitive laws and taking the law from Spain. The professor was happy I noticed. The 2 other teachers were so bored that they decided to go out to smoke a cigarette and that was it. I was in charge. I finished the test, embraced by my professor who told me I came in 6th and continue studying, you have a great future. Conclusion: The school teaches us on how to solve exams, test, ect. But many times they do not teach the real life. 

If you have any stories by or about older Native Americans, send them our way at info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. We’d love to hear from you.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

The Moth (José and Ann)

Many of the older buds of Best Day have a talent for both writing stories and reciting them to an audience. I’ve seen this before at our La Salle event, but every so often an older bud will tell a story that’s so funny, unique or powerful that I want to hear them tell it on The Moth. If you don’t know what The Moth is, it’s a live stage show where participants are given a theme and asked to tell a five-minute story from their own lives that fits the theme. You can listen to it on public radio, or any podcast streaming site, or you can watch their videos here.

After hearing José’s story about the time he passed his oral exam on a subject he didn’t study, I knew it would be absolutely perfect for the Moth. I told José about the story slams, and he seemed interested. So I went to the World Cafe where The Moth was being hosted a few hours early to guarantee tickets. I waited for José to come, and not only did he come, but so did Ann! She didn’t go onstage that night. José did, and even though he was a little nervous, he killed it. He fleshed out the story, he got everybody in the audience laughing, and he got some of the highest scores of the night! People came up to him afterward to tell him how much they loved his story, and even the host referred it later that night.

The Moth is such a great outlet for people to share their stories, and since they've teamed up with the AARP (just like us!) it only feels right to get as many older buds involved in this show as I can. I'll keep you all updated the next time one of our regular writers goes on stage. Wish us luck!

Jose Dominguez
8.9.2018
The Day Mary Came Into My Life

To meet girls when I was a bachelor was very important, so I accepted an invitation of a friend of mine. She was hosting a little party in her house, so I went. Not too many people were present and I scanned the girls in the room. I decided to dance with Maria. From the beginning, she surprised me because of her uniqueness. She was so full of energy and her will of power, simplicity, and joy of life. So I spent the rest of the party with her and at the end, before leaving, I said to my friend, the owner of the house, if I see that girl again, I will marry her. And I saw her again.

Ann Von Dehsen
8.30.2018
Special Children

I taught a preschool class for children with various disabilities. Though it was a while ago, there are many children I will never forget. Here are a couple of those stories.

Darren Stokes – Darren was a very tiny 3-year old who suffered from various developmental delays. What he lacked in stature, he made up for with a booming voice. We would do a morning circle and the kids would all take a turn to say their names. When we got to Darren, he would say, “Call me Mr. Stokes!” The other kids did in fact call him “Mr. Stokes.” On the first day of spring, I brought in some pussy willows. Mr. Stokes insisted on calling them duke-a-das. I told him I was pretty sure they’re called pussy willows to which Darren replied, “You can call them pussy willows, but I call them duke-a-das.” And to this day, whenever I see pussy willows, I always think of Mr. Stokes and the duke-a-das!

Another child, Matty, was quite autistic with limited language and would often withdraw from the group. The staff all worked on brining him back to the group and encouraged participation. One day, it was snowing, and there was Matty with his head against the window vacantly staring out. I went over and took his hand trying to pull him back to the group. He stopped dead, squeezed my hand and pulled me back to the window – pushing me to sit down. Then he tapped on the window, whispered the word “snow” and put his head on my shoulder. Needless to say, I stayed until he was ready to get up. Thank you Matty for teaching me to stop and see the snowflakes!

Until next time, to quote The Moth, we hope you have a story-worthy week.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Nine Years (Frances)

Last Monday was the ninth anniversary of The Best Day of My Life So Far, which means we’re just 361 days away from the big one-oh! A whole decade’s worth of writing came from the Philadelphia Senior Center, along with several six-week programs in five states, several lectures, and our own book. To celebrate our years of progress, I thought we could look back at some of our finest moments.

Founding 
Northwest Regional Honors Council Conference at La Salle University
Happy Hour at City Tap House
Our Book 
Press and Awards

And you know I wouldn’t leave you without a brand new story.

Frances H. Bryce
8.23.2018
Carless In The City
The story of my car continues, last week I was talking about seeing the car at the body shop, waiting for the adjuster from my insurance agency. The damage was on the rear of the driver side. The back panel, wheel and bumper were the only thing I could see that was damaged. I wanted to see when I would get a call that my car would be fixed and I again would be in the driver seat, as faith would have it. The adjuster said the damage was more serious than my eyes could see. Hence, they were going to not fix the car (totaled). I was not pleased with the fact that they were not going to operate on my visual observation.
I decided that I was not going to buy another car. I had planned to send my car to California before the accident, now I will use public transportation , Lyft, and then maybe a little more planning when I want to go out of the city or other places that I had used my car. A nine year old car with 24,000 miles attests to the fact that I had not driven the car very much.
The good news, I no longer have to find a parking place near my home, no insurance and gas payments. So you give a little and sometimes you in a little. I have to wait a while to see if I miss having my own transportation.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Surprises (Jose)

A couple weeks ago, Norman asked when Benita would be coming back to visit the Philadelphia Senior Center. I was curious too, since her kids were old enough to be in school. Maybe she’d have enough time on her hands to stop by. When I asked Benita, she said she’s come to the next session to catch up. That was surprise number one!

Last week, Benita came in to a class full of older buds. She caught up with Frances, Joan, Eugene, Elliot, and Rochelle, and I introduced her to Jose and Delores. I was a little disappointed I couldn’t introduce her to Anne, Kant or Nouria, and I was worried Norman wouldn’t make it. Norman’s been a busy bee lately, so he’ll often call to say he won’t make one of the workshops. So I decided to give him a call.

Norman picked up and asked if we’d be in our usual room or the computer lab. I told him that we’d be in our room, and that I wanted to make sure he could make it because Benita came to visit. I heard him laugh on the phone and say, “Well, if Benita’s gonna be there...”

Then I saw him walk into the room and say, “I’d better come.” Benita ran over to him and gave him a great big hug, and we all had a great big laugh.

 

 

Jose Dominguez

8.23.2018 

The Real Education

 

At 22, I was studying law at the University of Chihuahua. At the beginning, it was easy, but now the courses were really complicated. This story is about one turning point in my life as a law student. 

It was my fourth year and at the end of the period, the final exams came as a course. This time, it was a course “Mexican Agrarian Law” and I had to study 800 pages. The book consisted of 28 chapters and the biggest was chapter 8 with 220 pages long. 

We had 7 days to prepare so I decided not to study chapter 8. The test was oral and the professor and two other faculty members were the jury, it was impressive. 

When my turn came, they randomly selected 2 chapters and there it goes – chapter 8. Oh my god – the only thing I did was take some time to decide as if there were something to decide. After a few seconds, I told the jury I prefer chapter 11 if you please, but my professor told me 8. “Oh no, Jose, that chapter has been explained all day long, please explain chapter 8.” Oof, I said to myself, there are 2 options: I run from here or I fake my explanation. So I began reading the topic of the chapter. It was on the history of the Agrarian Law in Mexico. My professor was a communist and I knew he did not like the destruction of our cultures by the Spaniards and so on. So I began praising the primitive laws and taking the law from Spain. The professor was happy I noticed. The 2 other teachers were so bored that they decided to go out to smoke a cigarette and that was it. I was in charge. I finished the test, embraced by my professor who told me I came in 6th and continue studying, you have a great future. Conclusion: The school teaches us on how to solve exams, test, ect. But many times they do not teach the real life. 

Life is full of surprises, you know.

 

 

 

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Public and Private (Kant, Mo, and Delores)

A few of the older buds have been reluctant to post their stories online, due to concerns about being traced or watched by dangerous forces. This is understandable, between Cambridge Analytica, Edward Snowden, and all the myriad ways apps and websites can collect your information with its users none the wiser. However, they were more than willing to post stories under pseudonyms and noms de plume. Some of you might be surprised to learn that Mo McCooper's real name isn't Mo McCooper. He actually took the last name in honor of our fearless leader Benita.

On the other hand, there are plenty of older buds who are more than happy to share their lives outside of the workshop and website. Delores took time out of her weeknight to see a play I had produced back in March, and she brought a friend with her who had no problem with her picture being put on the website. I even saw her walk past the window when I was having lunch and gave her a quick call to ask if it was her.
 
The most important thing for me as a Best Day Facilitator is to make sure the seniors are comfortable enough to share their stories, under their real name or otherwise. Many of them come from places of hardship, and I never ask them to divulge something so intimate until they're absolutely ready. That is why I always feel so grateful that they do, that they trust me with their lives...along with the world.

Kant Spel
8.30.2018
The Best Thing You’ve Learned In your Life to Differ Judgment 

I always want to be right or at least have people think that what I’m saying is valid, correct, accurate. I have needed this affirmation. Being somewhat wobbly about most important things. The things my parents did were full of contradictions and didn’t make sense for me so I had to forge my own path.
I was somewhat desperate for clarify and a moral path, goals, with integrity. I read, I listened, I consulted. I compared my discomfort with other girls my age. Very few were as lost or discouraged as I was. They saw their parents as role models. I did not. I judged them because of my extreme discomfort. I had a grueling path to adulthood. Whatever my other efforts were – schooling, relationship, artist stimulation, my primary effort was to stabilize myself.
I held on to a few things that helped. Shakespeare’s words “to thine own self be true” came up frequently.


Mo McCooper
10.20.2016
Debates

The only debates I remember when I was going to school were in games where you or a guy on the other team were out of bounds. There were no referees at those playground games, but we got by with some unwritten rules. If you called fouls on defenders, that seemed excuses for missing a shot – we would all foul you harder to discourage the habit.
Baseball and football had fewer disagreements, but they were sometimes harder to agree on.
The younger players would learn from the older or the new players from the regulars.
For it all to work, we had to learn how the games were more worth playing and winning more rewarding if a playground rules were followed by all.
As far as the classrooms from first grade to 12th grade, I don’t remember any debates at all.
More to follow.


Delores Wilson
6.14.2018
Taste of Nostalgia

Our family was one of the first to have a television on the block.
The neighbors were welcome in our house to watch television until they could afford their own.
The programs were very original and children, friendly. They taught a lot of object lessons.
Did we have a favorite? Yes, Sunday for me was “Lassie.”
We were encouraged to pay attention to the local and national news.
The adults understood how to engage us children in current events of those days.
I recalled one time, it was a commercial on televisions. Mr. Lynch shared with me, “that the commercial paid for the shows.” After hearing that, I
Ed Sullivan Show was a variety show that aired on Sundays. Featuring movie stars that are still alive and performing today such as Gladys Night, etc.
The Uptown Theatre was “the place.” All who was who came from there. The Apollo Theater in New york held that same standard.
To be an “Artist” at that time, rather acting, singing, dancing, writing behind the scenes or in front. The enclaves demand the best and they, the “artist” gave their best.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri