Thursday, March 25, 2021

Heirlooms (Eleanor, Ann, Frances)

Best Day has mentioned before that it's done a project where people write stories related to their family heirlooms. With the weather getting warmer and Spring on the horizon, it only seems right to feature stories about the things we may find during Spring Cleaning.

Eleanor Kazdan

05.28.2020

Heirloom

This is a story about my father Aaron Kazdan, who was born in 1918 and the year never meant that much to me except it was his birth year but now the last pandemic in the world, the Spanish flu, was in 1918 so that year makes me realize that my father was born during a pandemic. And I never heard anything about that pandemic, strangely.
My father, when he was in his 20s, was in the Canadian Airforce. So, I grew up with this painting hanging in my parents’ house, my whole growing up years. My father died in 2005, very strangely he died on the very day we bought this house in Center City, so he never knew about it or got to see it. It was on the day we were closing on the house and we went ahead and closed even though my father had just died.
So about 10 or 15 years before my father died and my parents still lived in their big house, I got up the nerve to ask them if I could inherit this painting because I’ve been an art lover all of my life and I wanted to stake my claim to this beautiful painting that was done by one of his buddies in the Canadian Air Force. I don’t even know the person’s first name but I think his last name was McClellan. So, I was surprised when my parents said “Just take it now.” So, I took the painting and I hung it in my house. It hung in my suburban house for a number of years and now it’s been hanging in this house for 14 years.
It shows my father in his 20s. The other thing is that I also inherited—or I took, I guess you would say when I was cleaning up my parent’s house when they moved to another apartment out of their suburban house—I took all of my father’s letters that he had written while he was in the Air Force. A lot of them were to my mother. Somebody had fixed them up as pen pals when my father was in the Air Force and he wrote a lot of letters to my mother. He had actually never even met her at that point. But he seemed to be very taken with her and he told her a lot of details about his life in the Air Force. And I was very moved to be aware of my father’s voice when he was about 24 years old, especially now that I’m 70.
To have that view into my father when he was so young, and he was quite different from the father that I remembered growing up. My father was very quiet and didn’t interact that much. He was very introverted. But in his 20’s he seemed to be quite different, he seemed very lively. It gave me a very different perspective into my father. So, I have his letters and every once in a while I read them. I still think I should be compiling them and putting them into some kind of a book, but I haven’t done that yet. I guess the pandemic is the time when people seem to do those kind of things, but I haven’t. And I have his painting.

Ann von Dehsen

05.28.2020

Heirloom

So my namesake, Ann Von Dehsen, was my paternal grandmother. She died a few years before I was born, and I only knew a few basic facts about her. She was quiet, kind, and loved to laugh. She and my grandfather never had much money, but managed okay by living in a small New York City apartment before buying a small house in New Jersey. And she was well-loved by my father and his sister, my Aunt Dorothy. I had just one tattered picture of her laughing as she sat on a tiny fire escape of a city apartment. But growing up, she was more of a story than a real person to me.
Then, about ten years ago, my sister and I took a trip to Maine and visited our ninety-year-old Aunty Dorothy on the way. During the visit, she gave us each a piece of jewelry that our grandmother had once worn. My sister received a garnet pendant necklace and I received a ring that surprisingly fit me perfectly. We guessed that the stone was an aquamarine, and I have worn it proudly knowing that she too had worn it so many years earlier.
Well a few years later, while in a jewelry store, the jeweler complimented me on the setting of this ring and guessed that it was quite old. I asked him if he thought that the stone was really an aquamarine. After looking at it carefully, he told me, “Well, it’s actually just a piece of colored glass,” explaining that diamonds and gemstones were somewhat rare and therefore very expensive back in the late 1800s. He said that many rings had glass stones, and my ring very likely was also my grandmother’s engagement ring. So I liked this romantic story, and upon returning home I got out that very old, tattered sepia photo of Ann in the city. It was very hard to see, but she’s definitely wearing a ring, which I choose to believe is now my ring. So, knowing we share a name, a ring, and a love of city balconies, she’s become less of story, and finally more of a person to me.
Because looking back, my sister and I always wonder, we didn’t really ask that many questions about her. You know, she had died before either of us were born. We knew more about my maternal grandmother, but we just never asked much about her. And also, when we went to my Aunt at that time and she gave us the jewelry, granted she was older and I don’t think her sight was that great, but when we walked in, she said, “Ann, you look just like my mother.” So that was strange too. Now, through this I feel more of an attachment to her.

Frances Bryce

05.28.2021

Heirlooms

I just wanted to say about heirlooms, I have a large number of my mother-in-law’s, some very expensive jewelry. Some just fashionable. And so I hope my daughter will like some of it. It’s very precious and I wear some of it. She had a lot of jewelry.
Do I have a favorite? Not really because she had brooches and necklaces and bracelets; you name it, she had it. And what was important to me was that different time of the year like at Christmas time, she had Christmas tree pendants and so just had a lot of stuff. Some very nice things.
And long before she died she gave me the family silver, and that’s when my husband said, “You must be really in to get the family silver.”
She was very, very special. When people talk about their mother-in-law, I just can’t relate because we had a wonderful relationship.

If you want to transcribe for Best Day, then email us at info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. You can also share our older buds' adventures by donating to Best Day, subscribing to our newsletter, sending a note to our older buds, or following us on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter. And if you or the older buds you know have heirlooms and stories of your own, then you or they can submit stories through our portal right here. We're especially interested to stories from Black older buds, but we're always looking for stories from older buds of color, older buds with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ older buds, older buds of any gender or sex, older buds of any religion, and older buds who just plain break the mold.
 

And don't forget to maintain contact with the older buds in your life. If you can't be there in person, please call them, email them, or message them on social media. And if they're using teleconferencing or remote events for the first time, give them a call and help them set things up. Check in on them to see how well they're getting used to these programs. Buy them a computer or an internet package if they don't have one of their own. It's a human right, after all.

Curated by Caitlin Cieri 

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Working 9 to 5 (Carolyn & Ann)

March is Women's History Month, a month to highlight the contributions women made to society. But these contributions don't come without struggle or embarrassment, and the women of the workforce have to be prepared for anything. Carolyn's story, and Ann's response, are about female workers walking in on their male and masculine-presenting bosses and finding something they never expected to see.

Carolyn Boston

02.25.2021

Can I Have Fries with That?

When I received the promotion to work for a real estate attorney in the law department at the Bell telephone company, now known as Verizon, I was thrilled to experience a new challenge of learning something I had never experienced during my career at the telephone company or even been exposed to.
My first few weeks were times of adjustment, that is learning real estate terminology and processing contracts. The real estate attorney I worked for appeared to be OK. He was heavy on dictation, to a point where I feel almost overwhelmed. One day, he buzzed me to go into his office for dictation. When I went into his office I saw him lying face up on the floor under his desk. His head was pointing toward the door of his office and he wasn't moving; it appeared that he wasn't breathing. And I didn't see any response at all. I called his name but there was no response. So I ran out of his office, got another attorney and said that it looked like he was dead. The other attorney ran in, and I heard him say “Connie.” That was my boss's nickname in the department short for Conrad. “Connie, are you OK? Hello are you OK?” Finally there was a verbal response from my boss. I heard the other attorney ask “Why are you on the floor under your desk like that”. My boss responded “My back was hurting and I thought if I laid a flat on the floor it would stop the pain. And I wanted to put on my brace so it would relieve some of the agony I was in.” I was outside the door listening. The other attorney came out and said “Everything 's OK now.” My blood pressure had gone straight to the roof. Later the other attorney and I fell out laughing. Let's just calm him Jeff. Jeff comforted me “Don't worry about it, it's OK.”
Part two as usual I was on alert to take dictation; I wasn't disappointed. My boss buzzed me to come into his common for dictation and off I went with my steno book. When I entered his office he wasn't there. I couldn't imagine what had happened to him; he had just buzzed me. I left my boss’ office and sought out Jeff, and asked him if he saw my boss pass by. I said “He just buzzed me to come in for dictation” Jeff got up and we went into my boss’ office.
Jeff said “I didn't see him anywhere and I didn't see him his pass by so I don't know what happened to him.” There was no sign of him, there was no sign of him.
I said to Jeff, “This is crazy. Do you think he could be in here?” I pointed to the closet and I was laughing, just joking to Jeff with Jeff. Jeff said “Nah.” But before I caught myself I whipped open the closet door and there was my boss, in boxer shorts down around his feet with white socks and went up to his calves and his back brace slung halfway around his body. He had a little pair of white briefs or something on and I guess he wore that under the boxers. I almost passed out. I heard myself say Jeff, who couldn't see the inside of the closet, and pointing I said “He's in there.”
“What!” Jeff said. I said “He's in there” Immediately I slammed the door shut. I slammed it faster than a speeding bullet and along with Jeff got out of the office at warp speed. Later after I got over the shock Jeff and I were hysterical along with the other secretaries that had seen what had taken place. My boss didn't call me in for dictation for the rest of the day. Of course you surely must know why. I couldn't have sat across from him and kept a straight face taking dictation.
I just wanted to add to the story that I told because I felt that those of you that are participating in this class are thinking what bizarre behavior that the attorney that I worked with had. He was problematic but the general counsel lounge manager and administrators in the law department did speak with him and he never did that or carry out that behavior ever again because I know that it was very erratic behavior and certainly not something that should happen in an office. I took it with a grain of salt. But I did want you guys to know that he was reprimanded about his behavior. The whole law department—they heard—you know, we were all like in a group so everybody knew the story, we just laughed about it forever.
To this day when I think about what happened I still laugh like crazy. Both situations where hysterical and of course those two stories were the highlight of my experience in the Law Department of Bell telephone.

 

 

Ann von Dehsen

02.25.2021

Unlocked Doors

I had a friend that worked for a photographer once, in the big house, and he mostly took pictures of people in sports and all. And he would often lock his door. I guess she was sort of like a secretary to him. And he’d be in there for long periods of time without a client or anything. And one day she didn’t knock and the door was unlocked and she walked right in and he was standing there dressed up in his drag, in women’s clothes. Standing there and posing in front of the mirror.

And that sounds like it was only the beginning of the story. That session was pretty packed, so I only got to hear that part, but I'll send Ann a message and see if there was any more to it.

If you want to transcribe for Best Day, then email us at info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. You can also share our older buds' adventures by donating to Best Day, subscribing to our newsletter, sending a note to our older buds, or following us on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter. And if you or the older buds you know have shocking stories from the workplace, then you or they can submit stories through our portal right here. We're especially interested to stories from Black older buds, but we're always looking for stories from older buds of color, older buds with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ older buds, older buds of any gender or sex, older buds of any religion, and older buds who just plain break the mold.

And don't forget to maintain contact with the older buds in your life. If you can't be there in person, please call them, email them, or message them on social media. And if they're using teleconferencing or remote events for the first time, give them a call and help them set things up. Check in on them to see how well they're getting used to these programs. Buy them a computer or an internet package if they don't have one of their own. It's a human right, after all.
 

 
Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

The Report Card (Eleanor)

I always like being able to show off artifacts in Best Day posts to go along with the stories, whether they're ration books or pictures from the Worlds' Fair. Back in June, Eleanor shared her kindergarten report card from 1955 during a Best Day session on Zoom, along with a short story to go with it:

Eleanor Kazdan

06.18.2020

My Kindergarten Story

I didn’t write anything but like a lot of people I’ve been going through some old letters and pictures at this time and I came across my kindergarten report card from 1955. Now just to back track a little bit, when my kids were young, I read a book called “The First Three Years of Life.” And the psychologist who wrote the book, his theory was that your personality is completely formed by age 3. And that always stuck with me. So, it was very important to spend lots of time with your children up until age 3 and well beyond.
So, I happened to come across this report card from Toronto. Here it is. My teacher was named Eileen King, its from June 29, 1955. And I was shocked. It’s a big narrative, I don’t know if they still do this in kindergarten but its written in this absolutely beautiful cursive writing. Front and back, very, very expressive. I doubt that teachers do that now, probably, no, no. So, I was pretty shocked because I’m 70 now and I’m really the same as I was in kindergarten.
So, I’m going to read a few excerpts. And of course, not all of you know me that well but this stuff is the truth about me. “Eleanor is a tall,” well I was tall in kindergarten, not that tall now. “Eleanor is a tall, serious 5-year-old with satisfactory appearance.” She didn’t say Eleanor is a gorgeous 5-year-old. “Eleanor prefers quiet table games, alone or with a small group, rather than more active play. She is more self-reliant now, able to solve her own problems. Eleanor does not find it easy to be expressive among a large group but is really trying to overcome this.” Well guess what, I’ve never overcome it, 65 years later.
“On the whole she is quite mature emotionally. Sometimes Eleanor prefers to sit back and let others contribute during music and discussions, while at other times she is ready to participate. Her detailed handiwork convinces us that she has many splendid ideas to offer. Emotionally Eleanor is stable and mature. She is a little more ready to chat with us now. Eleanor is alert to all that takes place in the classroom. She contributes ideas and completes her work with great care.”
This is kind of a summary. “In her own quiet manner has established a friendly relationship with each of her classmates. She prefers to follow rather than lead group activities. Eleanor seems a very steady and self-reliant child, able to solve minor problems without adult assistance.”
Well, I’m like the same. I am the same as I was in kindergarten. I am much better in small groups; I prefer to follow rather than to lead in groups. So, anyway that’s my kindergarten story. It was a real eye opener.




 


If you want to transcribe for Best Day, then email us at info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. You can also share our older buds' adventures by donating to Best Day, subscribing to our newsletter, sending a note to our older buds, or following us on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter. And if you or the older buds you know have artifacts with interesting stories behind them, then you or they can submit stories through our portal right here. We're especially interested to stories from Black older buds, but we're always looking for stories from older buds of color, older buds with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ older buds, older buds of any gender or sex, older buds of any religion, and older buds who just plain break the mold.

And don't forget to maintain contact with the older buds in your life. If you can't be there in person, please call them, email them, or message them on social media. And if they're using teleconferencing or remote events for the first time, give them a call and help them set things up. Check in on them to see how well they're getting used to these programs. Buy them a computer or an internet package if they don't have one of their own. It's a human right, after all.
 

Curated by Caitlin Cieri

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Let's Go Thrifting! (José, Eleanor & Liz)

Picture, if you will, a thrift store. Rows upon rows of vintage clothes or slightly out of date fashion. Stacks of obscure or off beat books and computer games. Retro furniture tucked neatly in the back, flanked with framed pictures and Butterick clothing patterns. Muzak piping through as you root through overstocks and donations, knowing each item has its own story. And as you wait in line and check which colored tags correspond to which discounts, why not read a few stories about going thrifting:

José Dominguez
02.11.2021
Refleccion Vestido: A Dress Dissonance and a "Poor Man's Body"

After Maria’s death all her clothes packed in boxes ended as a present to our dear friend Dora who was, and still is, in tremendous economical distress. Among those garments there was one related to a petit family affair that I kept imprinted in my neurons.  
The mentioned dress was the one Maria used in Ponchos’ wedding back in 2009. In a previous trip of the couple to Juarez, Sasha asked us about the way we were going to dress for the celebration; Maria showed her a green dress that she believed was appropriate for the occasion and told her that I was going to use a black suit and the issue was settled. After Sasha returned to Philadelphia; days later Maria’s affluent friend gave her several very fine clothes. One of them fitted her body exactly as if it was made specifically for her. I told her that dress was better to be used at the wedding than the option previously pointed to Sasha; she agreed and I decided also to change for a light color since the formality will be in summer. At the wedding day we faced a disaster; the in laws were not so happy about our appearance; Maria’s color dress was very similar to Sasha’s mother dress; my suit was almost the same color as Myron’s. We noticed several not verbalized signs of discontent; providentially the day ended full of happy memories that diminished our wedding protocol transgression. the damage was done and satisfyingly it didn’t become a family tragedy.
Later, looking in the internet I found a rule that we violated: (speaking about groom’s parents) ” You should opt for a different color than the bridesmaid dresses and mother of the bride dress”. Years had passed after the wedding etiquette incident. Now, living in Poncho’s house I find myself in a new world of experiences oriented mostly by the here and now. Related to the way I dress I can say that I have learned to prioritize weather protection instead of good looking. The result was expending less in garments instead of making an investment on image pampering. In that venue almost all my clothes were Ponchos’, and successfully they are suited for the climate demands and to my body size. Joking with Poncho I told him that I have a poor man's body because everything suits me.
Fortunately, here, in the USA I have entered in a new world; now I have less money than ever but, at the same time, I have, as ever, a far diminished interest on money. That simplicity of life did not begin in Philadelphia. Just arriving to America in December 2012 Maria put me in touch with big stores of secondhand clothes. The Mexico I left behind, or, more properly, the Jose I left behind, was more embedded into class ideology, and I, as a beneficiary of the system, shared and cherished consciously or unconsciously some ideas that gave me advantage and comfort; one of those was about the use of pre-owned clothes; in some upper class mentality to buy not new clothes will be perceived as a decline in status since only poor people will do that. Here in US we found a culture more open and rationally oriented to recycle and to use resources properly; such way of thinking helped people, as me, that do not have enough money or do not want to spend it unwisely. As my brother Ramon said, I was born again, we ended spending much less money in clothes and at the same time did not accept social pressure to live a good life.
After three years of being legal residents we were invited to share our lives with Beatriz and Alex who happen to live in Houston. We moved to their apartment that was located in a large and fine building in League City, Texas. Just want to mention that the garbage service was very efficient and clean. Tenants had several large containers available were to put the waist. One morning I took my trash bag and went to the public container. My surprise was when I found a neat white long sleeve shirt hanging to the metal structure. It was covered with plastic and ready to be used. I interpreted that someone wanted to make me a present. I took the shirt and it fitted perfectly to my poor man's body…


Eleanor Kazdan
02.11.2021
Thrifting With My Daughter

Before my daughter learned to drive and we lived in the suburbs, she would ask me every weekend “Can we go thrift store shopping?” And we would go to the rounds of the thrift stores, and I had no interest at first, in every buying anything from a thrift store. But while I was waiting for her a couple of times I was like, “Well let me just look around.” And I found some fashion. And it could be stuff that had never been worn before, new stuff.
Liz Abrams
02.11.2021
Name Brands

I found that my children, they always wanted the name brands when they were younger to keep up with their other classmates and girlfriends. Until they got a job and I said I’m not gonna pay; at that time, $50 for sneaks was a lot of money. I said I’m not paying it. I said I’ll tell you what you can do, you can get your little jobs during the summer, save your money and then when school starts you can buy these expensive sneaks. And they said okay.
As soon as they accumulated their funds at the end of the summer I said “Let’s go and get the shoes.” “Oh no we don’t! We’re going to the thrift store; I’m not paying that kind of money.” As long as it was coming out of my pocket, it was okay. They got very economical when it came to their money and they learned about thrift stores, oh yes they did!
 

If you want to transcribe for Best Day, then email us at info@bestdayofmylifesofar.org. You can also share our older buds' adventures by donating to Best Day, subscribing to our newsletter, sending a note to our older buds, or following us on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter. And if you or the older buds you know have stories about shopping in thrift stores, then you or they can submit stories through our portal right here. We're especially interested to stories from Black older buds, but we're always looking for stories from older buds of color, older buds with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ older buds, older buds of any gender or sex, older buds of any religion, and older buds who just plain break the mold.

And don't forget to maintain contact with the older buds in your life. If you can't be there in person, please call them, email them, or message them on social media. And if they're using teleconferencing or remote events for the first time, give them a call and help them set things up. Check in on them to see how well they're getting used to these programs. Buy them a computer or an internet package if they don't have one of their own. It's a human right, after all.
 

 
Curated by Caitlin Cieri